flaws

my flaws —

i’m hella reactive sometimes. if i hear something i disagree with or something that hits my ego, i instantly get emotional and defensive. like i feel attacked and i wanna respond right away. i need to chill on that. instead of protecting my ego, i need to just listen, take it in, and reflect. not everything is an attack.

i’m also way too competitive. i turn everything into a competition, even the smallest shit. i need to start doing things for me, not for validation or to prove something to other people. and i know where that comes from — i’ve been seeking validation my whole life. from family, from school, from peers. but i need to let that go and build my own internal drive. i wanna be driven because i want it, not because i need someone else to see it.

when i feel like i wanna go off on someone or just destroy them, i need to pause and ask myself — is this really who i wanna be? like fr.

another thing is i need to be more approachable and less guarded with my emotions. i’ve been hurt before, so i became super logical and closed off. but i can’t let that block my ability to connect with people. being vulnerable is risky, yeah, but it’s worth it. i need to slowly let go of my pride and ego and let myself feel instead of suppressing everything.

i love connecting with people, but i can’t just sit there learning about them while staying closed off myself. i gotta open up too. it goes both ways.